The scariest day thus far

I jokingly tell people that I hold the following philosophy: If my child is going to sit on a psychiatrist sofa and complain how her mother ruined her life, by golly I’m not going to make a liar out of her.

Today I saw that future.

At the grocery store this evening Tessa blurts out of nowhere, “You didn’t buy me BALLOONS for my birthday!” She then went on to tell me in a drama presentation worthy of an Oscar, that she never had a real birthday party because there were no BALLOONS!”

I stood there flabbergasted. Her birthday party was more than TEN weeks ago!

The birthday party that included a HOME MADE Dora cake that took HOURS to bake and frost to perfection, a piñata stuffed with prizes and candy, a crowd of people who love and adore her, and a whole boatload of gifts! There were invitations, food to prepare, activities to plan...

Oh, just pray that the psychiatrists goes easy on Tessa's "mommy dearest".

Mom-mie is a mean-nee

Navigating a busy airport.
Mom has three checked bags, car seat, stroller, carry on and an independent three year old in tow.

"My mom-mie is a mean-nee
hee hee hee hee hee
My mom-mie is a mean-nee
ha ha ha ha ha"

The airline managed to lose the stroller.

Tessa in Charge

Everywhere we go Tessa thinks she's in charge.

"No THIS one."

I was never so nervous on a flight before. I prayed Tessa didn't touch anything critical while in the cockpit.

Half Moon Cay, Bahamas

A private beach. Tessa swam in the ocean, floated on floaties, slid on water slides and fed her lunch to a school of fish. After she was swarmed she screamed, "GET ME OUTTA HERE!"

Throughout the day she would run up to me, "What? I'm NOT LEAVING! Do you HEAR me?" Then she would run off...usually to take another turn down one of the water slides.

Tessa got a beautiful tan, except where her swimsuit kept riding up her butt. By the end of the her beach bum was quite red.

St. Thomas (US Virgin Islands)

Tessa spent the day at Coki Beach and Coral World Marine Park & Underwater Observatory next door. Tessa got to hold a sea cucumber, sea amenity and a star fish, witness a shark feeding and pee in the ocean (the highlight of her day).

Rosau, Dominica

Tessa swam over volcanic gasses rising up from the ocean floor (Champaign reef), hiked to a lake feed waterfall (Trafalgar Falls) where she played in a very cold pool beneath and then hiked to another waterfall feed by a boiling lake where she swam in the the hot sulpher pool beneath. Tessa called it a bathtub.

Actually Tessa didn't hike anywhere. She had her own personal sherpa who carried her around on his shoulders while mommy practiced controlled falls on the slippery rocks. All that hiking was soo tiring that Tessa fell asleep in the guides arms.

Willemstad, Curacao (Netherlands Antilles)

Tessa visited the Christoffle National Park where she rode a concrete iguana and threw a temper tantrum next to a high cliff over a pounding sea. We ended the day with a swim on the leeward side of the island.

Oranjestad, Aruba (Netherlands Antilles)

Tessa visited Arikok National Park (desert with LOTS of cactus), searched two caves for bears and monsters (found Arawak petroglyphs instead) and then went swimming in the ocean (first time, she didn't like the saltiness).

Double standard: Indians can draw on walls but kids can't.

Tessa's First Cruise

Embarkation.
It took Tessa all of two minutes to realize that the cruise staff was there for HER.

"Oh gentleman.
I want soda!"

"Gentleman.
I made a mess."

"HEY GENTLEMAN!!!
COME HERE!"

Audubon Days

Tessa attended the Audubon Days Parade today. Instead of fighting for candy at the curb like the other children (and adults) she'd reach into the candy buckets the parade marchers were carrying and grab her own handfuls of candy. She even chased a political marcher down the parade route yelling, "'bout me! 'bout me!" because she was overlooked for a pen.

Touchy Feely

Momma: "Tessa! How many times do I have to tell you to keep your hands off of that?!"

Tessa sighs: "Momma. I love you. But I GOTTA touch things.

Tessa walks out of the room shaking her head, "Momma, what am I going to do with you?"